Tweekly; Don't look back. Don't regret.
Thoughts weekly- Tweekly.
Birth, kid, study, teenager, adult, working, old, retire and lastly death. It's
a life process that each and every one of us is facing right now no matter
which phase you are in. However, things might seem as smooth as what we
always think, which lead us to take things for granted. But accidents will happen
somehow and you might regret for not doing things you really wanted to do, or
regret for not cherish your loved ones.
No one will know when the people around you or
you will pass on. Even the patients that are at their last stage, would not
know when they are going to die. They just hope that they will survive each and
every minute to be able to see their loved ones just a little longer. Hoping
that miracle will happen, each time they see their loved ones crying for them
while visiting.
Death is not something to be scared of if you have done enough things to make your life fulfilled or make your dreams come true. Death is not something for you to regret if you have cherished and appreciate the people around you.
6 years ago, I told myself, " I will treat my ah ma well. Love her wholeheartedly and will always be there for her."
6 years ago, it was when my grandfather passed away, and I regretted so much. I cried for almost 1 week, like an on-off tap, because then I always cured him to die for hitting my head whenever I talked a little loud, always ignoring him and say he just know how to sleep and eat.
But after losing him, those true memories flowed into my mind. Saying how much he used to ride bicycle to fetch me back from school, how he used to cook Maggie mee for me when only us at home and he always give me extra pocket money when I used to complain the food in my school is expensive.
We will always complain about the people who are always by our side, taking them for granted and always only notices the bad things they did to you but not the good ones. Everyone will have this experience, you and me. But if you are able to let go, stop taking people around you for granted, and start cherishing.
My ah ma passed away on 21.02.2013. This is a nightmare I didn't want to face. She was hospitalized during Tuesday, and the last thing she said to me was, "shi, help me to switch on the water heater." And then I was a little upset with her, because she throws a temper on my mum and I because she wanted to bath so badly and we kept say the heater isn't hot enough yet, as we are afraid she catches a cold.
And that was our last conversation. On Wednesday, she was hospitalized and she seems so much better than when she was at home. And I prayed with the bottom of my heart saying that I could give up of my dream of being a famous blogger, I'm willing to shut my blog up because of her. If she could recovery, I'm willing to do anything.
On Thursday morning, when we visit her, she still able to nod her head when we asked her whether she know who we are. But the nightmare decided to ruin the bright morning, suddenly she is not feeling well and the doctor said it's within 24hours. Hoping, praying and crying for miracle.
When she is going off, nearing her last breath. I hold on to her hand tightly, I really didn't want to let her off. She is the strongest pillar in my life. She is the one that I treasure and trusted the most in my whole life. Telling her all my secrets and complains. Asking her what she wanted to eat every time I head out.
Cry, crying, cried. All the tears have stopped so as my heartbeats. Living dead now, waiting for people to pick me up and give me a life again.
A whole new cycle has to move on. Losing my
grandpa was a pain in my heart; losing my grandma is shooting a bullet into my heart.
I know everyone at a point has to move on, but I really do not want anymore of my loved ones to move on. I am greedy; I want a list of my loved ones to be with me. I don't want any heart aching moments anymore, I want to be the first one to move on in my family.
But at least, I do not have regrets for my grandma's death. I know I cherished her; I know I loved her and show her how much I truly loved her. So loved and care for your family before it's too late. I regretted on my grandpa, not regretting on anyone anymore.
P.S/ make every moment counts. Show them you care from the bottom of your heart. Make every heartbeat cherish-able and appreciable.
I am someone who does not how to say big theories. I just know who to express myself in simple English and hope every sentence is right.
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